Brace yourselves, kids. This’s gon be a loooong one!
A few years back, when I was
not so gracefully going through my teens, I had this firm belief that making New Year’s resolutions would be the one thing that would change my entire next year. But, as every decent teenager, I also firmly believed that writing those wishes down and that alone would be enough to change my view on life, my habits, and magically turn me from random weird Reggae creep 14 years old Jules into super successful (and skinny) awarded fiction writer Juliana Sergio.
I’d list up the most absurd resolutions ever – mind you, for a 14 yo living in a coastal town in Brazil, saying one of your New Year’s resolution is losing 40kg in six months and marrying Chris Evans on your birthday, yes, there were things I’d call absurd and unreachable without undermining myself and my power of will. Losing weight was ALWAYS on my lists and for the most unhealthy and stupid reasons, such as “I bump onto my classmates’ pencil holders with my ass when I walk between desks”. Finding a husband was there too ninety percent of the time. Again, I was fourteen! Go figure, right? (*glaring at you, sexist, patriarcal society*). Seeing that I never, ever, seemed able to conquer any of those resolutions at the end of the year, with time I dropped the lists altogether. Wanna know why?
Because I thought I was the problem. I wasn’t doing enough, I was useless, and that my “friends” were always better and deserved more than me. See, I don’t know about you guys, but to 23 yo me that sounds (sorry Mom, I’m about to curse) FUCKED UP AS SHIT!
We will obviously – with time – go back to that part of the matter, to my self-esteem issues and to society breaking girls in half from the day they are born. But the main point of this post now is to say: I am back on the resolution business! With a twist, because I refuse to call them ‘resolutions’ as if they are the answers to the problems of the world. I’m calling them…
JULES SUPER AWESOME GOALS 2K17!
‘Goals’ because there is something about the term that says: It is up to you to get up and off your ass and go fight for them so DO IT! JUST DO IT! Shia Labeouf knows his stuff, you guys, I’m telling you. And this time marrying Chris Evans will stay in my before bed daydreaming routine, ok? If it happens, it happens. So here we go:
1) LEARN TO SAY NO.
To everyone and everything that does me no good, but mostly to myself. I am one for constantly patting myself in the head like ‘poor you, give yourself a break’, but there is a huge difference between not being so hard on yourself and being too soft. I am the one who should be telling myself to stop at some moments, to walk away from toxic people and situations and mostly, to quit making bad decisions that will only hurt me and telling myself ‘just this once’. NO, Juliana, NO.
2) BE GRATEFUL.
This is so simple, so easy to be introduced in our daily routines yet we all forget to do it. And here I’m talking about doing whatever you feel like it’s right for you, like praying, lighting candles to your guardian angel, calling your mom every night and saying thank you or active say thank you whenever someone does something for you. And also not taking things for granted because let me tell you, faith gives but it takes away just as quickly. There’s nothing more frustrating and beating that coexisting with ungrateful people that can’t see your efforts in anything. My second goal is to not be that person anymore, and I start by recognizing that yes, I was.
3 ) BE MORE AWARE.
And by that I do not mean self-conscious, at least not in a depreciating way. But just… being aware of how I treat people and myself, how I deal with situations, how I react to what people say to me. My best friend told me once I was one of those people that gets angry when she asks you for an opinion and you do not say what she wanted to hear. I do not want to be like that! So I’m making an effort to notice when I’m leaning towards that behavior so I can take a step back, breath and be better, to others and to myself.
4 ) LEARN HOW TO SPEND MY MONEY.
You guys, I am way too young to struggle with debt, especially considering I went to public uni and didn’t spend a dime on my first degree. Yet I do. 2k17 will be the year that I change that. I’m going to write down my expenses, save up as much money as I can, try and get side jobs to complement my monthly income. I’ve been cooking since I moved in to my apartment, making my own snacks and bringing food to work, so that already helps. I’ll see stuff I don’t use anymore and that can’t be donated. And luckily in a few months I’ll get to reach goal 4.1 which is:
- 4.1 – GOING TO SAN DIEGO COMIC CON. Watch out, Chris Evans, watch out…
5 ) TAKE SOME ONLINE COURSES AND ACQUIRE NEW SKILLS.
I want to learn how to sew and customize my own clothes. I desperately need to up my lettering and calligraphy game. And it would help me on my saving money project to learn a few more homemade beauty treatments. As much as I love spending hours at Sephora and walking out with a full face of makeup, my wallet cringes at the thought. All of these will help me professionally and personally. New hobbies are good and necessary for your mental health.
6) GET HEALTHIER.
If skinny comes along, well, great. But the main focus here is being able to take long walks with my friends or go dancing and not be spitting my tongue out and feeling my lungs burn after ten minutes. It is ending knee and back pain. It means sleeping better, not feeling tired all the time and actually feeling excited about trying new activities, instead of deadly scared. I’m too young to be spending what I do in meds.
And last but not least:
7) BE HAPPIER.
But, Jules, that’s not so easy! No, it’s not. But choosing to be unhappy and staying in situations that make me suffer won’t help me either. 2016 was a hard, long year on me and this time I want to do what makes me happy, spend time with people that make me feel good about myself, travel, have fun! Happiness is a state of mind, you know? It’s not something you have, it’s something you feel.
See? Full list without anything that sounds impossible, absurd or miraculous. I’m trying to show myself that it’s not about the things you get or how much money you make or if you get a husband or not. Or about you comparing your goals to other people’s! Maybe my best friend and her boyfriend have it on their list to get married. Maybe my brother has it on his to pass on his subjects with straight As. Maybe Amelia has a mental kitty list that says ‘eat more salmon cat food’ and ‘steal my mom’s ham more quietly’. Who knows? These are my goals and they are not better or more important than anyone else’s, they’re simply mine.
The main goal is to survive another year, which is a thought that always makes me cry after the clocks strike midnight on a new cycle.
And if you’re my friend and we end up spending the 2018 New Year’s Eve together, be advised I will be blasting Elton John’s “I’m still standing” at the top of my lungs when the year ends!
Tell me about your goals, ok? I want to know how 2k17 is looking on everyone’s POV. And if you’re planning on going to SDCC, bruh, you got a friend in me. *wink*