finally ended and while it’s been a rough year on – I’m sure – all of us, I couldn’t start a new year with an old, petty tradition: focusing on all the bad shit that happened in the past and ignoring how many good things actually happened. While a tough year economically, historically and generally speaking, great things happened in my life that I figured were worth a list and appreciation.
For starters, I adopted Amelia. If you do not know yet who Amelia is, Houston, we have a problem. Amelia is a beautiful, adorable and sometimes possessed by the devil lilac Siamese (that resembles immensely a raccoon) that has changed my life. I’ll tell you right now, you guys, if you don’t have a pet yet please add it to your 2017 resolutions. Adopting Amelia was the best decision I’ve ever made – even if she was truly a Christmas present and at first I didn’t have much of a choice – and it has helped me in many, many ways. She has helped my sleeping patterns, my depression, my sense of responsibility and, believe me, has done a great deal of help in my Binge Eating Disorder treatment.
2016 has been a big year in my treatment. I am here speaking openly about a subject that haunted me for over three years before I could even realize I had a problem, and that continue to follow me. And it is three years later into therapy, meditation, a kitty and never ever resorting to any sorts of medication that I can say out loud (or in writing, this is very confusing sometimes) that I am a BED in recovery. Please take note that this is not, in any way, me telling you to refuse medication! Different treatments work for different people, and as a very spiritualistic pagan raised with the most natural and homeopathic means, I chose from the start to stay clear of meds. I resorted to yoga, reading, meditating and yes, adopting Amelia. My treatment has maybe taken a lot longer than other would, I am still in recovery and every single day is a battle but I can proudly say that 2016 was a year of very, VERY few heavy binging episodes.
But we’ll return to the subject in a much recent future. Now for the past…
I took advanced, grad school classes this year as well and read the most amazingly interesting letters for my Rhetoric class. I got a new job, one that I love dearly and that has taught me so much about people, about respecting the diverse kinds of intelligence those around you can have, about the struggling, long process that is writing, proofreading and publishing a book.
I got into my second uni! That was absolutely wild! Five years later I decided to try it a second time, different place, different major. Different people – oh so different people! And that I can honestly say was the second (after Amelia, of course) best part of my year. I’ve met so many new people, coming from all possible upbringings, places, social classes and cultural beliefs. I’ve learned to give people the benefit of the doubt, to listen to them and know that each and every person you cross paths with throughout life has something new to bring you and teach you to make you a better human being.
My best friends now are a freakishly tall girl with the most beautiful eyes one could ever see and a heart as big as the sun; a tiny little thing with the smile of a Disney princess and a sweetness and kindness inside her that you don’t see in anyone these days; a boy I used to hate with a passion and that has showed me how people can be distinct and complement each other’s hearts; a crazy chic with bright colored hair that has been through a lot and still keeps on going; a girl with the most badass Instagram account you’ll ever see and the vastest knowledge in this planet; and many, many more beautiful people that a simple decision has brought back into my life.
2016 was a fucked up year but it brought me hardcore badasses for friends, people who’ve been to hell and back and are still standing and that show me every single day that such thing is beyond feasible; is it vital! Yes, 2016 took David Bowie away from us. And Alan Rickman, and George Michael, Carrie Fisher, Umberto Eco and the list goes on and on and on… But I truly believe that each person that goes, if their mission is accomplished, they leave a spark behind ready to ignite where something beautiful can happen. These girls up here, the boys, the goats (there are goes, trust me) and even teachers who has no sense of self preservation (*winks* at all JORPA1m class) were my ‘something good’ amidst all the losses that came with 2016.
Last, but not IN THE SLIGHTEST least: I graduated college. Yes, my friends, five years of pure divine probation ended. This is another subject that could take up a whole post (maybe a series of posts) but what’s important now is that I survived something really, intensely hard for me, something that has messed up my life and changed who I am in so many ways, good and bad. That was what 2016 was for me, a year of survival. Of learning new limits of mine, finding strength where I least expected and standing tall through all the difficulties these 365 days brought me in a frequency that is unbelievable.
Okay, Jules, so what does all this ranting mean?
It means it is possible for good things to come out of the hardest situations. It is possible to keep on going even when your legs, your head and your heart hurts. It is possible to fight and conquer an eating disorder that has fucked up my health so much. It is possible to find solace and companionship in the tiniest, furriest creatures. A lot can happen in a year and yes, most of it can be bad. But if you still choose to wake up the next day with a smile on your face, you’ll find beauty and laughter in the most unimaginable of places.
Talking about my disorder is not easy for me. Seeing the best in people was not something regular on my life. And finishing something I had started, oh… That simply did not happen. Yet this year I managed to do all of those. Crazy, huh?
Bear with me here, buddy. I’m sure together we’ll have twice a bigger list to share with each other by the end of 2017!